Cultivating Friendships When Miles Apart

Goodbyes are hard.  We have all done it.  We have said that we will not let time and miles come between the friendship. We have all had the goal to make sure the friendship didn’t change or draw distant.  I think TIME is the biggest factor that plays in friendships growing apart.  We get caught up in our everyday routines and forget to stay connected. Cultivating friendships from miles apart has to be a priority for the friendship to continue. 

This is a passion of mine because my best friend moved away.  She did not just move down the street, she moved states, she is moved almost 3 hours away.  The feeling isn’t really anything that I can compare it to.  We have lived apart before but I don’t think we have ever been as close as we are now.  We can read each other’s voices to know the type of day we are having,  we can laugh at each other and we can sit in a room together and say nothing and be fine or not leave the room for hours and still have so much more to say. Friendships like this are hard to come by.  Maybe once in a lifetime.   So cultivating and keeping the friendship strong is one of my top priorities each week. 

Distance cannot separate friends

When friends move long distance, it is not the end of the friendship.  It is just a different way of interacting and keeping connected.  With technology today, there are so many ways you can stay connected and not feel the miles.

So I have a plan, I have a good plan I think.  You have to be intentional about it.  If you just say it will be fine, your time will suck it all up and you will realize weeks have gone by and you haven’t talked.

Ways to Cultivate Long Distance Friendships

1. Make sure you have texting on each of your phone plans.  When you think of your friend or see something that reminds you of them, text them.  Tell them about your day or a funny thing that has happened.  Texting doesn’t take but a moment.  Use it keep an ongoing conversation going.  Siri on your iPhone is awesome to talk to text.  I use it a lot when I am busy with my hands and want to text a friend. 
2. FaceTime or Facebook Chat while you are cooking, sitting at a ball practice, by the pool, or even while you are grocery shopping.   Have a cup of tea with each other.  You could even do a Bible study together, a book review or just fold laundry together. 
3. Plan a road trip each quarter for over 24 hours.   If your friend lives within 4 hours you can have a great weekend meeting and it not be too hard on each of you.  Alternate the trips to where no one is just doing all the traveling.
4. Remember those important dates.  Don’t miss the birthdays, the anniversaries, the holidays, etc.   Don’t miss the special days.

Long Distance Friendships are not too hard

After the adjustment settles of not having your friend right down the road, you can spend some time creating the new routine.  My friend and I know each other’s schedules pretty well so we know when we can talk and when we can’t  We also know that a delayed response to a text doesn’t mean anything negative. It just means we are busy. 

We don’t dwell on the fact that we are miles apart, we focus on what is happening in each other’s lives and encourage each other to enjoy the now and the new normal.

Do you have ways that you stay in touch with your friends that are long distance?   I would love to hear how you cultivate your long distance friendships. 

As you finish reading this post, think of ways that you keep friendships healthy that are a distance apart and if you have someone that you have not contacted in a while, take a moment to do so.  You will love catching up and getting reconnected.